Starting before Im ready

2025 looks nothing like I imagined it would.
And even with life coaching and personal training a work that fulfills me deeply it hasn’t come without negative self-talk or an overwhelming amount of doubt. When I imagine the life I want to create, I imagine a place where people can come to learn, grow, and feel heard. Something bigger than a “community,” but more intimate almost a one-to-one connection because as much as I may be helping you, you are also helping me.

At the core of it all, I am a writer. I am a creative. I love exploring new mediums and sharing them with the people who choose to be here. I want to write because, at every stage of my life , my youngest, my most hurt, my most healed all I wanted to know I wasn’t the only one experiencing this kind of life. I wanted to know I wasn’t the first person to experience heartbreak, the first person to feel lost in her own head, the first person to spiral with anxiety, or sit in silence wondering how she got here.

This is why I’m starting before I’m ready.

In my head, I shouldn’t be writing until there’s “something worth writing about.”
This website should look better. It should have a better name. It should feel more polished. But isn’t that just another way of putting it off? One of the promises I’ve made to myself and to you is to practice what I preach. If I say I’m scared but doing it anyway, then I have to do it anyway.

Some days, writing feels effortless. Other days, like today, it feels messy and uncertain. And before we go any further, there’s something important you should know about me: Everything I write about comes from lived experience. The heartbreak. The betrayal. The days , sometimes weeks where leaving my home felt impossible because of depression or anxiety so loud it drowned everything else out.

Since I was 13, it feels like life has handed me at least one world-shattering moment every single year. Not as a badge of honor, and certainly not as trauma bragging but as proof that the life you may see online hasn’t been lived untouched.

So if you’re reading this, whether you’ve followed me for years or you’ve just found me today (hi, by the way), know this: none of it has been in vain.

My hope in sharing this is simple — that you take it as a sign to do the thing you’ve been putting off. Not tomorrow. Not Monday. Today. Because I just sat here and did this.

And you can do what you need to do too.

I love yall, thanks for sitting through my yapping

xoxo- Ash